How to Deal With Someone Who Has FP
If you have a friend or family member who has FP, here are a few tips that will probably help you make the difference.
Be Patient
It can be difficult to deal with someone who is constantly seeking attention and approval. Remember to be patient and understanding. They may not mean to be so needy and just need some extra reassurance.
Encourage Them to Seek Help
If you’re concerned about someone’s FP syndrome, encourage them to seek help from a mental health professional. While this advice is not always well-received, make them understand that there is no shame in seeking help.
Offer Support
Finally, make sure to provide them with the support they need. Let them know that you’re there for them and care about them. Although this is not an easy ride, let them know they don’t have to go through it alone.
The meaning of BPD favorite person?
A person with a mental illness like BPD (Borderline personality disorder) would become attached to a favorite person powerfully. This kind of relationship is called «Borderline» — the most characteristic of this illness, they will become attached to their favorite person with intense emotions. However, their intense emotions will flip suddenly and the BPD patient will fly into a rage against the person to who they are attached. That is the reason that the person who lives with a BPD(Borderline personality disorder) patient often doesn’t understand what is going on in their relationship, they may feel like they are walking on eggshells all the time.
Essay on My Favourite Person | Favorite Personality Essay | Short & Long Essay For Students
Everyone has that one favorite person in life that he can always rely on. No matter how hard a situation a person is facing, he knows that he has that one person that he can take advice from. People always admire and look up to their favorite person. They want to achieve everything like their favorite person.
My Favourite Person Essay | My Favorite Personality My Mother
I also have a favorite person in my life who is very close to me and that person is my mother. My mother is my favorite person in this whole world because she has all the qualities that makes a person ideal.
Her character is very simple and charming. She is wise, honest and truthful. I always admired her because of her kindness towards everyone and the way she tries to help everyone as much as possible. She never refuses anyone who comes to the door asking for help. She is very religious too and prays regularly. She is a God fearing person who always teaches me to remember God’s gifts and thank him daily by praying.
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She has always motivated me in every walk of my life. She is always there, praying for me whenever I am going for my exams. Whenever, I feel helpless and confused about certain matters, she is always there as a guardian angel to help me in my decisions. She has always encouraged me to be the best in all that I do.
If I fail in anything then she is always there to help me in what I did wrong and support me without any criticism. She is not just a mother but a best friend too. I can talk to her for countless hours without getting bored.
I feel comfortable to share everything with her. She is my friend who always encouraged and helped me whenever I needed a friend for moral support.
On weekends, we cook together and also go for hangouts. My friends also like her very much. She cooks very delicious meals for my friends as well. They often come at my house to meet my mother too. She is also obsessed with cleanliness and always makes sure to keep the house clean.
She made me who I am today. She taught me how to be selfless, humble and caring towards others. She never bounded or restricted me from anything but she taught me one thing that there is a fine line between right and wrong and I must know what is right for me.
It is because of her trust and faith in me that I am a confident person today. I never heard her of speaking ill about anyone. The way she has grown in the past few years amazes me.
She is not just an ordinary woman. She loves to read, write and paint. She is always eager to learn and read more. We also play games and I know she always lets me win. She is the humblest lady I have seen in my entire life.
I know that she sacrificed her dreams just for the well being of our family but she never discouraged us from dreaming. She always puts herself on second priority but still never complains.
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She taught me to be patient and not to give up in any situation. I wish to be like her, if not completely then just a little bit. I always pray for her health and well-being. She is the perfect example of an ideal human being. I am so proud of my mother. May she live long to see my success.
Symptoms of FP
If you think you or a loved one might suffer from FP, make sure to take a closer look at the following favorite person symptoms.
Constant Need for Reassurance
Always needing reassurance from others that they are liked, valued, and appreciated can be a sign of FP. This may manifest as constantly seeking compliments or needing to be that person’s center of attention. If you are struggling with FP, you may feel like you are worthless if the person you idolize doesn’t continuously validate you.
Reaching Out Frequently
People with this syndrome constantly reach out to their favorite person, especially when they are not responding to their texts and calls. As people experiencing FP feel the need to be constantly connected to their favorite person, they might become upset or anxious if they show signs of losing contact with them.
Fear of Abandonment
If you are always worried the person you idolize might leave you or no longer love you, this is a clear symptom of FP.
People with FP often feel like they are not good enough and will be abandoned if they are not perfect. They may try to control your time and actions to make you stay close, often exhibiting manipulative behavior.
Being Overly Jealous
Exhibiting jealousy at your favorite person’s relationships or activities is, without any doubt, a sign of FP. This frequently occurs because they feel concerned about how change may affect their relationship.
How to Draw Healthy Boundaries as a Favorite Person
If you find that you’re someone’s designated favorite person, here are some ways that you can create healthy boundaries to protect your emotional health and theirs:
- Identify and communicate your boundaries: For example, clarify times of the day when you do not wish to be contacted. You can also discuss how often you’re comfortable with providing emotional support.
- Challenge boundary violations: It isn’t enough to wag a finger in disapproval when a person with BPD shows up at your home unannounced or throws a tantrum in response to a missed call. A favorite person has to make it clear that these actions violate the boundaries of the relationship and will not be tolerated.
- Make realistic promises: A favorite person may feel pressured to make promises that ease the worries of the person with BPD. These promises may, however, only worsen the unhealthy relationship with the person with BPD. Only offer what you can realistically give so that you don’t overextend yourself or consistently break promises to the person with BPD.
What Is a BPD Favorite Person?
Favorite Person in BPD
While it’s normal to have a person that makes you happy with their presence and regular communication, a person with BPD views their favorite person (FP) as someone they cannot live without.
Why do people with BPD have a favorite person? People with BPD experience a great deal of emotional upheaval, and having a favorite person to turn to can be a source of support, comfort, and security.
Licensed therapist and BPD specialist Lara Slimmer, LPC, NCC explains, “Individuals with borderline personality disorder metaphorically straddle a fence each day between normality and abnormality, tranquility and upheaval.” It is during these vulnerable periods that a person with BPD is most likely to reach out for support and stability from their favorite person.
The attachment to the favorite person is so strong that someone with BPD may consider extreme actions like moving cities or making threats to maintain their favorite person’s attention.
Therefore, while a favorite person may provide some validation and comfort to someone with BPD, it becomes important to draw boundaries in the relationship to avoid unhealthy interactions.
You do not have to have a favorite person to be diagnosed with BPD, and this type of relationship can also occur with other types of personality disorders.
How to Deal With Being the Favorite Person
If you find yourself in the position of being someone’s favorite person, it’s important to be aware of the challenges that come with it. Here’s how.
Be Honest
Being someone’s favorite person might come with a lot of unwanted responsibilities. So, it’s important to be straightforward and avoid making promises you cannot keep.
Encourage Healthy Attachments
Because that person might see you as their “savior,” you can influence them to pursue close friendships and healthy relationships with other people.
Set Boundaries
Last but not least, set your boundaries. Let them know what you’re comfortable with and what is unsettling. This will help keep the relationship healthy and balanced.
Signs You Have A Favorite Person
A usual theme found in people living with BPD is a history of trauma. Dr. Roberts highlights the fact that this condition often, “results from not receiving validation of their emotional experiences by caregivers.”
In reaction to this, a person with BPD may conjure a close connection with a favorite person who becomes the object of their attention, adoration, and sometimes even indifference.
Counseling psychologist and psychotherapist, Shagoon Maurya, identifies signs that suggest a person with BPD has a favorite person:
You Experience Jealousy
A favorite person is the center of attention of an individual living with BPD. This means they consider this person as a trusted friend, confidant, and counselor all wrapped in one. Dr. Roberts notes that the person with BPD demonstrates an “anxious-preoccupied attachment style.”
This attachment may produce feelings of envy when a favorite person happens to spend time with others, compliment them, or place their time and feelings above that of the person with BPD.
Understandably, this can be demanding and isolating to a favorite person and is indicative of an unhealthy attachment.
You Need A lot of Attention
Maurya explains that a person with BPD can feel “an extreme need to seek constant supply of attention from the favorite person.”
In such cases, the favorite person is always expected to be available and attuned to the needs of the person with BPD. This means counting on the favorite person to:
- Receive calls
- Respond to messages
- Anticipate visits
All of these actions may be expected of the favorite person even if it’s inconvenient for the favorite person.
You Create Fantasies Around Them
In the eye of the person with BPD, their favorite person is unable to do anything wrong. In certain cases, to support this view, a person with BPD may make up a scenario where their favorite person is connected to them in the way the former aspires to connect with them.
This made-up world also positions the favorite person as being properly responsive to the emotional needs of a person with BPD.
You’re Eager to Please Them
A person with BPD may be so invested in their favorite person that they idealize the stances and opinions they happen to hold.
A person with BPD may adopt the preferred preferences of their favorite person. They may change their opinion of a sports team if their favorite person happens to be in favor of or against them. These changes are made to match with, or perhaps forge a closer bond with the favorite person.
You Swing Between Hot and Cold
Despite a favorite person being the recipient of attention, praise, and near idolization by a person with BPD, these emotions can change very swiftly in reaction to supposed changes in the favorite person.
Jan Roberts, DSW, LCSW
As a favorite person, if there is any sense of boundary setting or unmatched intensity of emotion within the favorite, the person with BPD will begin to vilify and may even resort to abusive tactics.
— Jan Roberts, DSW, LCSW
This change in the person with BPD is usually an emotional response. They may fear that abandonment by their favorite person is imminent and will choose to push them away instead.
Recap
How do you know if someone is your favorite person in BPD? Signs include:
- Feeling jealous when the person spends time with other people
- Needing a lot of attention from that person
- Creating fantasies about them
- Having a need to please that person
- Shifting between idolizing and hating them
What to do when BPD’s favorite person is not around?
If you have a close relationship with a BPD person, it is important to be patient when you are dealing with their favorite person. The BPD people get very hurt and feel very disappointed if their favorite person is not around.
If you are around people with borderline personalities when they are feeling hurt, they often need a little space to get through their emotions. For this reason, try not to interfere in their personal lives and give them the space they need.
A mental health professional is often recommended for BPD people as it is very difficult to be in a close relationship with BPD people. If you are not coping well with the BPD person, it is recommended to seek professional help.
Why do people with BPD have a favorite person?
Borderline personality disorder BPD people have a favorite person because they are trying to meet all their needs to be loved, they have unrealistic expectations of their favorite person, so it is almost impossible to be liked by everyone. They are often disappointed in their favorite person so they reacted strongly with their emotion that often seems irrational to others.
One of the main reasons why BPD people need a favorite person is that they feel chronic emptiness, the absence of closeness makes their minds desperate, so they will try to find any possibility of getting closeness with their favorite person.
A Favourite Person is Someone to Whom we are Emotionally Attached
To me, a favourite person is someone you are hopelessly emotionally attached to. Often, it is the person you fear abandonment and rejection from the most. The fear of losing that person is 10x more intense than the fear of losing anyone else in your life. They consume your every thought, and you make up imaginary scenarios in your head involving them. Sometimes you may have fantasies about them, and you may get angry at them for things that haven’t even happened. It may even turn into a full-blown obsession. Your FP is the one you split on, or idealise and devalue, the most.
Favorite Persons Can Be Anyone
A favorite person can be anyone: a friend, a family member, a significant other, doctors, or even therapists.
In my case, my FP always ended up being my therapist. I’ve been with my therapist for over a year now. I’ve gone to extremes to convey to her how dependent I am with her. I habitually have threatened suicide countless times, self-harmed over her, and have engaged in other harmful acts to express my dependency and helplessness.
When I don’t get the reaction or the emotional nurturance I crave so badly from her, that is where the overwhelming feelings of rejection and abandonment come into play. I split and avoid seeing her or talking to her for weeks.
After these meltdowns, I feel guilty for being so mad and hateful towards her, so I beg her not to terminate my therapy and tell her how badly I feel about being so mean.
I’m sure it’s draining for her, but it’s also terribly draining for me, as well.
My Behavior Isn’t Healthy
I’m aware that it isn’t healthy, yet I can’t help it. This fact consequently makes everything worse.
Being self-aware of your actions creates a horrendous battle in your head between your rational mind and the borderline part of your mind. It can send you into a deep depression where you don’t leave your bed for days. What can follow are episodes of rage, or it can make you dissociate and go completely numb. You begin to hate yourself and your sensitivity to rejection, because it creates instability in your relationships.
I just want to love and be loved by my FP, but it seems impossible because of the disorder. I’m sure not all borderlines will experience having a favourite person, but if you do, I hope this piece is something you can relate to.
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Why does BPD get so attached?
It is because people having a mental health problem like BPD tend to like their favorite or idol and they often feel very hurt or disappointed if their favorite makes a mistake. They often attach strongly to their favorite person and feel very disappointed if there is a small mistake from their favorite person.
If a BPD person feels constantly let down because of their famous man or woman, it may be difficult for them to get over their disappointment. For this reason, it is important to empathize with BPD people when they are feeling disappointed in their favorite person.
The fear of abandonment can conduct to intense emotional pain in people with borderline personalities. It has been said that this is because of an intense fear of being abandoned by their favorite person, which is why they cling to their favorite person.
What Is Favorite Person Syndrome
We’ve all had that one favorite person we can’t get enough of. However, being a favorite person holds a much deeper meaning.
A favorite person, in this sense, can be defined as an unhealthy obsession and attachment to a specific individual. While it may seem harmless at first, FP can actually be quite damaging in the long run.
FP is most commonly seen in many people diagnosed with BPD—here’s why. Fear of abandonment and instability in emotions and behavior are common symptoms in people with BPD. So, it’s not strange that they are more likely to idolize someone and feel incredibly euphoric when spending time with them.
However, relying heavily on one person has its dramatic downturns. Any slight transgression, like lack of punctuality or attention, can result in feelings of fear, anger, and insecurity.
What are the more common BPD symptoms?
1. Unstable relationships
People with mental disorders like BPD tend to have unstable relationships, which may swing between extreme closeness and dislike of a person.
2. Distorted self-perception
They often have a pessimistic view of themselves and the world. They may experience feelings such as guilt, shame, and low self-esteem.
3. Intense emotional responses.
A person with a mental illness like BPD may have very intense emotional reactions, such as anger, anxiety, or depression. These reactions are often out of proportion to the situation.
4. It tends to have intense, unstable relationships
People with mental health problems like BPD often fear abandonment and try to avoid real or imagined separation. They will do this by causing themselves pain or they will cause pain to their loved ones. Often, this behavior is damaging and they may feel guilty about it.
5. Mood swings often occur
A mental illness like BPD creates mood swings. Their emotional changes are intense and unpredictable. They can also have suicidal feelings and they may express their feelings through self-harm.
6. Binge eating
People with BPD struggle with binge eating, spending, and sex. This is often done to help them cope with their negative emotions. Often, this behavior is harmful and they may feel guilty about it.
Signs You Are a Favorite Person
It’s easy to consider the adoration and attention a favorite person receives, as signs of a harmless relationship, one that could be easily likened to having a best friend. However, the expectations placed on a favorite person, as well as downsides when these aren’t met can reveal the true nature of favorite person connection.
Maurya highlights signs that you might be someone’s favorite person below.
You’re Their First Point of Contact
Whether it’s in celebration of a work promotion, to complain about a headache, or to share thoughts about a new moisturizer—a favorite person is always updated, and the first to know about new developments in the person with BPD’s life.
You Feel Responsible for Their Mood Changes
A favorite person may feel a need to manage the fleeting moods of a person with BPD. At the first sign of annoyance, the favorite person may feel pressured to lighten their disposition. They may also find that they are relieved when the person with BPD reaches out in good spirits.
You Constantly Offer Reassurance
Because a person with BPD swivels between multiple emotions (i.e., emotional dysregulation) and constant fear of abandonment, it is usually up to the favorite person to provide them with calm and assurance of love and appreciation.
You Feel Admired and Needed
A person with BPD considers their favorite person to be above wrong. They are never shy to express their feelings and will be sure to include their favorite person in daily decisions and activities.
The favorite person is usually aware of the considerable influence they wield over the choices a person with BPD makes, all of which can contribute to the favorite person feeling important to this one person.
You Think About Them When You Make Decisions
A favorite person is often on the receiving end of the strong emotions held by a person with BPD. This means observing their joy when the favorite person makes time to be with them, or shouldering mean words or a cold shoulder upon refusing the wishes of a person with BPD.
To avoid tantrums, and to ensure peace reigns with a person with BPD, a favorite person will find that they put the person with BPD into consideration when making decisions that might affect them.
Borderline personality: how to find help?
The BPD community is a resourceful community where you can find information about borderline personality disorder. You can also try to make new friends or other people who are suffering from borderline personality disorder. You can also solve your problems in the BPD (Borderline personality disorder)community.
Professional therapists are recommended to visit the online community when they are having difficulties in treating their BPD patients. You can also ask some therapists to be your friends in the online community so that you can get support from them when you are in need.
Take care of your mental health first before joining the BPD community. It can be a new way to learn some important things about borderline personality disorder and the mental health community.
BPD favorite person, how to stop?
You can try to achieve a mutual understanding with the BPD person about their favorite person. In this way, it is possible that you can help BPD people to reduce their anger and fixation on their favorite person.
Here are some tips for dealing with a person with BPD who has a favorite person:
· To avoid conflict, you can try to understand that your BPD (Borderline personality disorder) friend or family member’s fixation on their favorite person is not your fault.
· Try to empathize with the BPD person’s feelings of disappointment toward their favorite person by offering them support and validation.
· Try not to take it personally when the BPD person gets angry at you for being around their favorite person. You can try to offer the BPD person a little space and time to vent their feelings.
· Try not to challenge the BPD person’s fixation on their favorite person. Instead, try to gain an understanding of the things that make the BPD person angry.
· Try not to take extreme actions or drastic measures when the BPD person gets angry at their favorite person.
· Try to explain that everyone makes mistakes and that even though someone is their favorite, it will not always be perfect.
· If you feel like your loved one is becoming overly fixated on their favorite person, try to take time for yourself. For example, you can make plans with friends or take time to participate in activities that you enjoy.
Source: http://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships/borderline-personality-disorder-in-teenagers.htm
Frequently Asked Questions
Can a bipolar person have a favorite person?
Although people with bipolar disorder have very intense emotional reactions to the people in their lives, there is no available data supporting this theory.
Is FP a mental disorder?
Although some argue that FP meets the criteria for a mental disorder, others contend it does not.It’s true that FP can cause significant distress and impairment in functioning, but there is not any data that classify this syndrome as a separate mental disorder.
Does everyone with BPD have an FP?
It’s true that people with BPD often have a favorite person, but that’s not true for all people dealing with this personality disorder.While it’s not known exactly why some people with BPD develop favorite person syndrome, it’s important to ask the following questions— what is favorite person syndrome, how does it work, and what can we do to keep a relationship stable?
